Funding the Wedding

It’s wedding season once again and I think it’s high time I discuss about wedding related expenses and how you can fund them.

Less than a year ago, Paul and I got married in a small church in Baguio City (Philippines) surrounded by selected family members and friends. The wedding was so small that everybody can fit in a single snapshot. J

The wedding was paid in full before the day of the event. Except for the photographers since I told them that full payment will be made after the event. Mind you, weddings should be paid in full before the wedding itself. That’s how it is in the wedding business.

I personally like the idea of a small wedding. I only want the most important people in our lives surrounding us when we say our vows. I don’t fancy large crowds because it seems so chaotic. I want a peaceful and meaningful wedding and I don’t think inviting a few hundred people will fulfill that dream.

When Paul popped “the question” we didn't talk about the wedding budget or how many guests we are going to invite. We just enjoyed our engagement and saved for the wedding. It was few months after the engagement when we decided to finally settle things. We both wanted a church wedding in Baguio so we decided to book a church and a reception area there.

After booking the church and the restaurant in Baguio City preparations were put on hold because we were both busy with our jobs. It was February 2013 when we decided to carry on and finish everything.

During this time we were giving out money to suppliers. I myself controlled my expenses just so everything will be funded.

 It is a well-known cliche that “Wedding is just a day while marriage is a lifetime commitment.” Well we probably went on that train for the wedding expenses. We don’t really like spending too much on a single day event so we put all our best efforts to minimize cost but still have a wonderful banquet. Here’s how we did it.

First quantify your expenses.

The one and only golden rule we followed: Get local suppliers!
Church – Look for a church that suits you and book it early. We booked ours 9 months before our wedding day.
Reception Venue – I showed Paul this nice restaurant along upper Session Road and I had him approve the idea. After his approval we booked the date and gave 50% advance. We booked the restaurant 9 months before our wedding day.
Wedding dress (Includes my gown and my entourage’s dresses) – I have a schoolmate way back in high school who is into dress making nowadays. I contacted her and she gave me a fair price. We contacted her few months before the wedding. And she pulled it off. J
Photographer – We have a classmate in college who is now one of the best wedding photographers in Baguio City. We contacted him several months before the wedding and we were lucky his schedule was okay with our date. J
Make-up artist – The person who made my dress was the one who suggested my make-up artist. He is one of the finest I suppose. I was with Paul when I did the trial and he loved the look. So we booked him 2 weeks before the wedding. :D
Other wedding effects – Who needs professionals if you have friends who are willing to help? J I am forever indebted to my friends. J

Second, set your expectations.

Setting our expectations mean that we should be realistic with respect to our budget. We need to tell ourselves that we are going to have a small gathering and only the most important people can attend. Although we would like to invite more, we were bound by our wedding budget and we should only spend according to our spending plan.

Third, set your budget.

One thing I realized while preparing a wedding on a budget is not exposing me to the sellers out there. I did not attend any wedding expo for my own wedding. I just sorted out my own list and focused with my local suppliers. That way I controlled the wedding expenses and kept my wedding preparation from scrutiny.  

Fourth, fund the wedding.

It was a blessing that we had ample time to fund the wedding. We saved most of our salaries to create a wedding fund in order to avoid borrowing for wedding-related expenses. We disciplined ourselves to save more and spend less. We made sure that there is ample amount saved for some extras and surprises along the way. An extra 20% of the total amount will be enough to cover.

Paul and I are disciplined savers. We have lots of friends who are willing to extend help (as in labor) and we really appreciate what they did to us. We really saved up for our wedding because we like to have it our way. I think the most important lessons I got before, during and after the wedding were the following

1. Spend only what you can afford to lose. Do not expect so much from the wedding so treat it as an expense.

2. Give importance to people who are dear to you.

3. Borrowing for wedding related expenses is not an option. If it’s not in the budget then don’t.

4. Spend money on more important things. For us it’s the food that we serve during the reception.

5. Prepare for the married life.

On Marriage and Finances

I am not yet married but it doesn’t mean I can’t make good advises when it comes to handling money for couples. I have seen many couples fight over money. And it is not a problem you can just shrug about.

Did you know that most annulments here and abroad are caused not by third parties but by problem on finances? Funny huh? But so true. Third parties are just the by-product of financial problems. Here is a classic example. Couple Ricky and Anna got married. They had clear visions and clear plans. They loved each other and adored one another. The romance went on for a couple of years. They had a great marriage life. Until one day Ricky had a problem at work and was fired. Anna took over the expenses hoping that Ricky could find another job the soonest time possible. But Ricky failed because of self esteem issue. So the stress of providing was carried on by Anna. After a year the wife complains and they argue. The woman nagged the husband and the husband found refuge from another woman.

To avoid having the same problem here are simple steps couples can follow on handling finances and have a lasting marriage.

Before getting married.

Couples should sit with a financial adviser regarding their future financial plans. The financial planner should be able to set the rules that is agreed upon by both parties (soon-to-be husband and wife).

Wedding expenses.

In this dialogue the couple should agree who pays what in the wedding. It is a common mistake for a groom not to talk about this issue. Be honest to your wife-to-be. Have a budget and spend according to your budget only. Do not overspend. Remember, the wedding is just 4-5 hours while the marriage is forever. Be practical in your own ways.

Retirement.

Retirement is not oftenly talked about before the marriage. This topic is oftenly on “come-what-may” basis. Have realistic goals when it comes to retirement and be supportive to each other to achieve this. You can either have a common account or separate accounts for this.

House.

It is ideal that the couple has a house already before getting hooked. But then again, downpayments and mortgages are too big for a man or a woman to shoulder alone. Agree on what type of house you want to have and on what type of community you want your children to grow. If possible, buy a house before having a child and pay it off the soonest.

Kids’ Education.

Prepare for the kids’ education early on. Do not rely on your salary-to-be. Of course parents want their children to have the best education there is but unfortunately only a few manage to prepare. Before the child is born, the college education should be in place already. Saving and investing a thousand every month fifteen years before college can be of great help when that time comes.

Longterm Healthcare.

This is commonly overlooked by the couples. They seem over confident that their medical expenses can be shouldered by their retirement fund. Unfortunately it wouldn’t. Retirement fund is different from longterm healthcare needs. They are somewhat similar but very much different.

Debt.

The wrong attitude: Your debt you pay. The right attitude: Your debt, we plan to pay and pay it off the soonest. Always extend a helping hand to your partner. Remember the vow, “for richer or poorer till death do you part.” Know the root cause why you are in debt and deal with it. Do not blame the person. Rather make the person realize that having debt can ruin a marriage and try avoiding it as much as possible.

Emergency Fund.

Anything can happen so better prepare for it. If you have separate emergency funds before getting married then well and good. It can be on separate accounts dependeing on what you agree upon. Please take note: giving birth to a child is NOT an emergency therefore the fund for this should not be taken from your emergency fund.

~till then